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Our book to read and discuss during April 2014 is A Thread of Truth by Marie Bostwick. It's the second book of her Cobbled Court Quilts series. Get the book from your local library or bookstore and join us! It's also available on Kindle right here.
In A Thread of Truth, the author sensitively takes on the difficult subject of domestic violence. "According to a 2005 CDC survey, one in four American women have been abused by a husband or boyfriend - and on average more than three women are murdered by their husband or boyfriend every year." (page 342, A Thread of Truth). Marie gives readers a window into domestic violence as seen through the eyes of the main character, Ivy Peterman.
If you would like to create a quilt block to represent this theme of domestic violence, here are some ideas to get you started. Clicking on each quilt block title will lead you to the free pattern.
Cross and Chains Quilt Block
Hard Times Quilt Block
Job's Tears Quilt Block shown below
Kansas Troubles Quilt Block shown above
What would you do if you thought someone you knew was being abused by a significant other? To whom would you turn if it happened to you? Inquiring minds want to know! By commenting, you'll be entering this month's give-away of Marie Bostwick's newest book APART AT THE SEAMS, coming out the end of this month. Three lucky people will each win a copy, courtesy of Kensington Publishing! If you are reading this via email, you must click on the title of my blog post to be able to comment and read the comments of others. The winner will be announced on May 1.
Looking ahead to the May Book Selection: These Is My Words: the Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine by Nancy Turner, Historical Fiction based on the life of the author's great-grandmother, set in Arizona Territory, 1881-1901
You might also enjoy reading my previous blog post Brotherly Love Quilt Block on National Sibling Day.
I would have to say this is a very hard subject for me. I have lived with this my whole life as my mother abused me. She continued even into my adulthood. It wasn't until 10 years ago when I took a stand and walked away from her after she took it to a physically point. It was so bad that I now have right frontal brain damage and problems with my right eye. I do speak to her, because my children asked to have her in their lives. I wanted to protect them. So they only see her with me or my husband. When all this took place I turned to my husband. He is truly my knight and shining armor. If I can help any person know that they don't deserve to be treated like this I would love to. This book sounds like a great help. if anyone reads this that is being hurt by another. Please stand up for yourself. You are loved by other people. You don't need to take this.
ReplyDeleteI think Shar has hit it right on. If you are abused by words alone while you are a child, you tend to think you deserve it even if it becomes increasingly physical. Helping someone in such a situation to know they don't deserve it and show them they are valued and loved, and even help them find a way to remove themselves from the situation is right on.
ReplyDeleteThe abuser and the victim both develop those patterns early in life. That is one reason I always wanted to work with kids, to help them find other ways to dealing with life's slings and arrows.
I'm thankful that I haven't ever been a part of an abusive relationship. If I knew someone in a situation like this, I would help them find community and church programs that can help.
ReplyDeleteMy BFF and her son moved in with hubby and I for a few weeks because of abuse. Everyone knew that he was afraid of me, and wouldn't bother her if she was with me. She has become a great resource about abuse for other ladies. She has kindly let me refer friends to her, so that she can refer them to help in their area. Her story has made a big impression on my sons. They now watch out for friends and know where to turn, if someone needs help.
ReplyDeleteFortunately in our small corner of the world, we have a wonderful women's and children's shelter with a supportive staff and volunteers trained and ready to help. Our local hospital is proactive in reaching out to women even those to afraid to ask for help. We have lawyers who work pro bono as well. If my personal relationship could not persuade someone to get help, I could refer her to this organization. They usually succeed when friends do not.
ReplyDeleteI worked for seven years with Victim Services and am back working there again now, although doing policy work now where as my previous work there was with clients. Domestic violence and how to work with those who suffer from it, and perpetuate it, have been huge themes in my live for the past twenty years. I certainly try to watch out for my friends and help when I think there are problems. But DV is so often hidden by the parties involved - one so as not to get in trouble and the other out of shame, fear, etc. A shift in thinking in our world is what is needed to eradicate DV.
ReplyDeleteJanet is so right - shame and pride really help keep domestic violence hidden. I lived with physical and emotional abuse - it began a week after I was married and I was too ashamed to admit I made a mistake. After 6 years I learned not to argue with him but it took me 23 years to finally end it, when he started to get physical with our daughter. Not something I would ever put up with again and I'm sorry I put up with it for so long - taught my daughters so many wrong lessons about marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was an alcoholic so ours was an emotional abuse. Mom stayed in the marriage for 19 years before a counselor convinced her that staying was not "for the good of the children." She truly blossomed after the divorce.
ReplyDeleteI think abuse is a hard subject that Marie handled well. My sister was director of the churches child care center and had to report abuse a few times. But my daughter fell of her bike and her teacher asked me what happened. My daughter's and my answers we the same. The teacher told me she asked other teachers if my other children had signs of abuse. Thankful that my youngest daughter and I had the same story. I don't know who I would turn to now if I was in an abusive situation. My sister has died, my brothers aren't really able to help - too far away, so probably would ask one of my good friends for help.
ReplyDeleteDomestic violence is a tough subject to deal with. Many of us have been abused in some aspect of our life. I have a friend that was abused by close relatives and it has left lasting scars and she suffers for PTSD. Marie dealt with the subject in a very enlightening manner.
ReplyDeleteWhat a difficult question. In my experience I didn't act in the way I thought I would before it happened. It is much more complicated than people believe.
ReplyDeleteSuper block by the way :-)
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